Piffling Improperly On A Wednesday Afternoon

Why yes, I have been very busy, thank you. I became very obsessively involved in adding the finishing touches to Luvabeans new template, which she is presently tailoring and de-bugging. You have no idea how involved a process making hundreds of jellybeans can be.

This should be my life’s work. Give me a task with infinite niggling details (such as Photoshopping individual shadows onto jellybeans), and I can stay completely focused for hours on end, unswerving in my quest for perfection. Tasks with a larger scope are another story. Right now I am staring out my window. Earlier, I was checking on the Parade rose plant we now have on the other side of the room. I still have some lunch to nibble at throughout the afternoon. My paperclips have been sorted into sections of my desk organizer as used and not-used.

I could easily piffle away the afternoon on any number of things unrelated to my actual work at hand, because everything I have to do is bigger, like writing letters and handling money. (I just looked up “piffle”, and it actually means a little of what I intend, but a little more wet-blankety than I mean). If each of the things I have to shuffle around on a daily basis were the size of rice grains or pinheads, I would be one fastidious worker, I assure you. Not that I am not fastidious now, no; it’s just that my mind wanders if it isn’t being micro-managed by minutiae.

So, where was I? Oh, yes. I am just sort of all bouncing around and defocused today, so now we are simply going to have to follow random things that I come up with, ‘kay? Here goes:

  • Poop. Poop poop poop and more poop. There, now that that’s out of the way….. I have finally been pooping! Over a two-week period, I didn’t poop at all. Not even once. In fact, the urge to do so didn’t even arise, not even as an inkling. While Fidridge, Frances, and Starcat were here in Cityville, they knew of my problem and bragged about their pooping abilities. Frances has the amazing ability to poop three times a day, so she could be heard regularly saying “oh, there I go, pooping again”, much to my chagrin. Then, the day before yesterday, my problem seemed to clear itself up, and now I have healthier bowels for the third day running than I have ever had. I have been going three to six times a day, and I actually have to go again now. It’s wonderful and oh-so-relieving. I imagine that I was quite full up after two weeks of storing the stuff!
  • Enough of the poop story. Now onto something more serious. My rabbit, my sweet little Gordon, is a pain in the ass. He’s gone all hyperactive and rebellious over the last couple of days, and I’m starting to miss the old times when I could leave the room to get a glass of water without finding an Edward Gorey book being dragged across the living room by a dangling bit of chewed spine. He has taken to looking at me all crazy-like when he’s caught in the act, as though he’s calculating his next bit of chaos and mayhem. He’s like a chess player, planning several moves ahead to keep me on my toes. Last night alone he ran away with books, tried to steal my blanket from on top of me twice, chewed on the wedding album, unstacked a bunch of DVDs and pushed them all over the floor with his nose, pooped on a chair he wasn’t supposed to be on (sorry, the poop just won’t quit in this post), tipped over my water glass, chewed on the telephone cord, attempted to leap over a barrier he has always ignored, insisted on climbing up on top of a stack of boxes and then throwing himself down onto the floor instead of hopping down one box at a time, and kept hunkering down in front of me so that I would pet and pet and pet and pet and pet and pet and pet him until my hand went numb. It is like having a two-year-old almost. I am letting him out as soon as I get home tonight so that he can wear his little bunny self out a little.
  • I put some hot chocolate powder in my shitty office coffee. It is divine.
  • Two things outside my window are telling me that fall is arriving in short order. First, there is a tree across the street whose leaves are starting to turn yellow already. This is managing to be both utterly delightful and terribly depressing simultaneously. Second, the little gopher who scurries around outside my window all day every day is getting fatter and fatter every time I look at him. At this very moment he is gorging himself on grass, as he has been for hours. Oh! There he goes standing up to look at me through the window. Sometimes, when he’s standing up, I talk to him, and although he probably can’t hear me through the glass, it often looks like he groks what I’m saying. It’s a little creepy, but I leave food out for him anyway. (Actually, that makes me a little creepy, too, but my officemates seem like accommodating folk).
  • And, last but not least, I fully intended to buckle down and thoroughly clean the kitchen this evening, but there was a sign up on the door to my building this morning informing me that there would be no hot water, so aside from general tidying, I guess I get to sit on my butt for another evening. See, even when I want to make an effort to be a tidier person, things conspire against me.
  • I have now piffled (albeit improperly in the strictest sense) away my afternoon. If this were a respected skill with adequate remuneration, I’d be set.


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