It goes something like this: link to the person who tagged you (done), post the rules (almost done), write a list of six quirky things about yourself (keep reading below), tag six people to do this meme with links to their weblogs (perhaps), and then, if you are me, you can leave off some stuff, because you are lazy and you can't stop pulling at that spot where the seam of you pants is trying to eat your crotch hair. I swear these pants have teeth.
Six Quirky Things About Schmutzie
- A lot of you know this already, but maybe it bears repeating: I cut my own hair. It was driving me nuts to have to shell out so much money to hairdressers who insisted on trying to "feminize" my haircuts and would not go short enough for my liking. They could not seem to deal with my request that they "go at it like a weed whacker".
One trip to the mall and a pair of clippers that were cheaper than a single haircut later, and I can afford decent wine. Imagine that.
- I am allergic to telephone books. You know when I am going to order in food, because I can be found sneezing my way through the chinese food section and asking the Palinode if he wants doze noodahs wid da peanud dawd.
- At some point when I was a kid, I saw the word kumquat and started using it as though it were an insult. I did not have a clue what a kumquat was, but I regularly said You're such a kumquat to people who were being buzzkills. It still works its way into my internal dialogue when I find a person annoying, although now I am more profane. What a fucking kumquat, I think.
- I am fascinated by certain serial killers. There are the regular kind that just go around raping and murdering. Those aren't interesting. To fascinate me, a serial killer has to be like that guy in Europe who would abduct women with long blonde hair, wash their hair for four hours straight, and then kill them to cover it up. Why didn't he become a hairdresser?
- I do not like yellow cars.
- On the rare occasion that I sneak out to the balcony for a cigarette, I like to watch my apartment through the window and see the cats and the Palinode go about their business without me present. I'm not there! You guys continue to exist! Life is an amazing thing.
The following six people are tagged to do this meme but are in no way obligated to follow through with its commission: