Meet Edwina, The Macrocephalic, Pasties-Wearing, Knocked-Up Crackpot

I am presently working on a website design for a local small business, and the design just will not come together like it did last night in my dream. Of course, in my dream I built the website out of a mix of code, construction paper, and damp coffee grounds, but I swear, I SWEAR, I can do this thing.

While I take a break from the graphics end of the design, which, by the way, keeps suffering from used-car-ad-itus, I'll introduce you to Edwina:

Edwina 1

She is kind of low-rent slutty, but that's only because she's a people-pleaser.

Edwina 2

Don't pay any attention to how bald she is. She's learned to accept it, and so should you. Also, the eyes? She's on medication for that. She feels muuuch better now.

Edwina 3

I wanted to shoot more upskirt photos, but she forgot to put on underwear. She does have a cute little butt crack, though.

Edwina 5

Also, she's trying to be a little more ladylike now that she's preggers. That's why she's wearing pasties rather than going topless, which, frankly, she prefers. The pasties will have to do until she can afford a whole shirt.

Edwina 4

It's a hard thing to be a lady, though. Edwina thinks it involves too much damn clothing.

And now I am off to wrestle Photoshop into submission. I will overcome!

Grace In Small Things: Part 53 of 365

Meet Polly Esther Fuzzybottom