Five of My Most Highly Embarrassing Accidents

1. I went out for food with a guy with whom I had just become friends, bet him that I could eat the entire ginormous submarine sandwich called The Brute in one sitting, burped audibly halfway through, told him that I had this huge crush on his friend, and then I learned that he thought we were on a date. Oops.

2. I fairly violently sideswiped a car in traffic on the way to a job interview, freaked out, and reflexively hit the gas, effectively fleeing the scene without meaning to, so I circled the block and returned to find that the woman I'd hit was hugely pregnant and weeping in the middle of the road. Needless to say, the interview did not go well.

3. I took off my shirt in front of boy when I had actually meant to put on my jacket, and the sight of my nipples made him develop a crush on me that would last for more than five years. Sadly, this was not my last experience with accidental public nudity.

4. In the middle of the annual Dorm Run – a student co-ordinated event at my Mennonite boarding school in which we locked out the deans and fled the dorms after hours – the guys, who had gotten out first, were helping me exit the girls' dorm head first out a small window when my pants caught on the frame and slid right off, revealing my white ass to dozens of high school boys. I was notably more popular over the next week.

5. A friend of mine was sitting on my couch in a dress, and when I noticed that not only could I see up her skirt but also that she wasn't wearing any underwear, I thought to myself I can see your beaver I can see your beaver I can see your beaver, and then I accidentally blurted out loud "I can see your beaver", and then everyone looked down and saw her beaver. How do you say awkward?

So, I showed you mine. Are you going to show me yours?


PS. I would like to introduce you to my latest sponsor, Mary Martin's Stella & Dot shop, which you can find in the sidebar to the right. She has an eye for beautiful jewellery, especially with these bold, chunky necklaces that go so well with low necklines. Check her out!

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