Firstly, I must say that I find it ever so satisfying to have hit entry number 369. It's 3+3=6+3=9. It's 3+6=9. It's 3x6=18, and 1+8=9. It's 3+6+9=18, which is also 1+8=9; 9 is three 3s, which is a triumverate of 3s. It is a number that appeals to my obsessive-compulsive side, and I will just shut up about it now, because sentences that are compilations of simple equations are not everyone's cup of tea. I know they're not mine (except for when they have to do with my beloved 369).

Secondly, today is definitely a day for a list. Actually, it's a day for two lists. This first one lists my reasons for writing the second list, or more precisely, substantiates my brain fuzziness, which is why I have to resort to making lists rather than writing one coherent narrative:

  1. I cannot hear out of my left ear today. This happened throughout last autumn, so I am suspicious of an allergy. Once I find him, his ass is grass.
  2. I fear that this plugged-up-ear-allergy-thing is turning into an infection, because when I swallow, my eardrum feels as though it is wowing like bending sheet metal, and it's a little painful. I'm wondering if I brought this on myself by remembering childhood ear infections on the way to my morning bus.
  3. I took Ben@dryl for this ear thing, and it has a narcotic effect on me. The drug has cleared up all my other allergy symptoms aside from my aching eardrum, and it is winning in its battle with the caffeine I have been ingesting in order to complete a course of error-free data entry while under the influence. Now I am feeling both pressured pain and a drug high.
  4. Did I sleep much or well last night? No. Is this surprising in light of my revolving door insomnia? No. It is a woeful state of affairs: my skin looks bad, my eyes are red, and my general comprehension is declining.

Now for the real list, the one that I intended to write before my first list, which was, in truth, an extended apology for this second list, which is my replacement for coherent narrative, as I said before:
  1. Ever since I came clean about being gender queer, (which I won't explain right now, because I don't feel like it), I have been all big on the self-censorship, and so much so that I even avoid thoughts about the subject. I am clinging so strongly to my denial of the facts that I wonder if I would have remembered that whole coming out thing if I had not posted here for the world to see.
  2. Ignorance is not always the epitome of bliss, let me tell you.
  3. "Let me tell you" and "I kid you not" and "I'll have you know" turns people into the willfully deaf. I should know, because I stopped listening to myself ages ago.
  4. I wish that I were willfully deaf today, because being suddenly half deaf with pain does not rawk.
  5. I have taken all Google ads out of my weblog template, because it felt weird to have them there, and it felt stupid looking up my progress reports to find out that I had made five dollars. I am using Pheedo to display adverts for other weblogs for free, and I am using FreeFind to support the little search thingy in my sidebar. I would recommend using these services, but I have only been using them for less than twenty-four hours. So far, so good.
  6. As well as adding the new tech stuff to this site, I also made the nice lady title graphic at the left. She is named Estella.
  7. I have started transcribing VHS tapes of interviews for documentary television, and because it has been a long time since I have done this, it is taking me forever to get through an hour-long tape. It does not help that the fellow being interviewed is long-winded and keeps switching his monologue's direction in the middle of sentences. It also doesn't help that I lip-read a bit due to my nearsightedness, and the subject has this annoying habit of rubbing his nose, which obscures his mouth. This means that not only can I not hear him very well, but I also cannot watch his mouth for clues. I am flying to Biloxi ASAP so I can cut off any sections of his upper limbs that can effectively interfere with his mouth.
  8. This one is for Starcat, who says that he will start writing again soon.
  9. Being the ugliest, fattest, pimpliest, greasiest, saddest, angriest, hungriest, thirstiest, wrinkliest, most sleep-deprived ball of cellulite has lost its charm. Can you tell me when my period's coming?
  10. Employers should be kind enough to serve beer or shots at work for those of us who live in cubicles with cloth walls, because cloth cubicle walls are unsuitable for the proper smashing of one's head when one is high on Ben@dryl and cannot for the life of oneself add up a simple string of numbers with a calculator.
  11. Those of us who are too high on Ben@dryl to realize that the floor is perfectly suitable for the proper smashing of one's head should be sent home from work.
  12. The cat knocked my camera onto the floor from high up on the fireplace. None of its glass parts are broken, and it sounded perfectly normal when I snapped a picture with it, but now I am too scared to take it out and use it. I am afraid to find out that it is broken. I think I will take my camera in for a check-up and the cat to the vet for a snipping. Tit for tat, pussycat. (We're getting Oskar fixed anyway, but I like to pretend that it is some kind of extreme punishment for his various destructive behaviours).

That's not the most feel-good list of the season, but it's what I have, and if you know what's good for you, you'll take it.

Okay, you got me. I suck at feigning attitude when I am ill and it is Monday at this stage is my cycle. Please pass the tissues.

Half deaf and cranky,


* The title is meaningless. I just liked that sentence when I wrote it down in the second list.

In Which I Go On About Chorus Practice, My Bad Writing Habits, Grace Six, High School Bathrooms, And Beer With The Added Bonus Of An Awful Poem